Saturday, September 30, 2006

"I'll Pray for You!"

Aaaarrghh!! I hate it when christians say that! As if i should say "Thank You!" or "Gee! Will you? Perhaps it will help?" or something. But recently i've been thinking about this. A simple but conclusive experiment on the power (or lack of it) of prayer.

So, if your a christian, muslim or any other flavour of theist i'm asking you to pray for me. Pray for my conversion to the theology of your choice. Form prayer circles, use the internet to get thousands praying for me, millions perhaps. These huge born again rallies could all start with a quick prayer for my mortal soul. If prayer works so well then the saving of one measely soul should be childsplay! I will keep you all posted on any success. If i suddenly see the light, get born again or start getting the urge to knock on doors at teatime and ask if they've "Heard the Good News?" you will be the first to know. If i start talking in tongues, joining the salvation army or wearing sandals with "jesus loves you" soles (i kid you not!) then it will be announced in this very blog.

This is theology's chance to save this godless, heathen atheist from eternal damnation. To prove once and for all the existance of giant invisible friends. (As an aside here, it's been said that it doesn't matter what we call god, she is still the creator. But if you call her Ralph and then read the bible.... "In the beginning Ralph created the heaven and the earth...." doesn't quite have the same ring to it. Anyway.. I digress.)

Yes! You and your brethren (Getting the hang of the language already! Perhaps it's working!) can use the power of the lord, jesus, allah, thor, flying spaghetti monster (may you be touched by his noodly appendage) or whoever to prove it isn't all a pile of dingo's kidneys and it's all actually true!

So, don't be shy! Get praying and if it works I promise to come clean and let you all know. If not, after say 5 years and I am still a godless atheist then you have to promise to take a few mins to ask yourselves why it didn't work and perhaps read "The God Delusion" by Prof.R.Dawkins.

Please, if you are praying for me, add a comment and introduce yourselves. Where and how many would be valuable data for the experiment. Names. while nice, are not needed so anonymous comments welcome too.

Good luck!

9 comments:

gp said...

so.... if you do become a believer - how will you prove that it was the power of prayer and not some random scrambling of brain cells?

Morpheus said...

Isn't that true for all theists? ;o)

Les

Anonymous said...

I am a theist, although what I believe is drawn from a few different religions/philosophers and I know of no one else that has the same views as I do on religion. What made me believe what I believe was personal experience and research. I will not try to convert you. Hell, I wouldn't even be excited if you said I was right. I would appreciate not being insulted. I have done my best (no ones perfect) to respect everyones opinion and listen before I start generalizing. Using "all" can be dangerous.

Morpheus said...

Hi Anonymous!

But what would you do if your research convinced you that a very large proportion of the species has strongly held beliefs that cause nothing but war, strife and the holding back of the research into the true nature of the universe by a malicious, self replicating idea infecting our minds?

Would you still try and respect the views of those that support and try to spread those malicious ideas? Would you not try to get those infected to try and see their fate?

What would you do?

Mark said...

Actually, I'm going to pray that you stay an atheist. If you do, you'll know that prayer works.

Morpheus said...

Mark! Heh Heh... Hardly sporting old chap! A theist praying for more atheists to prove a point? What would your deity of choice make of that? I bet she'd have a few words on that one... ;o)

Anonymous said...

If my research did lead me to believe such things, I would probably try to garner support from the population by sharing my beliefs with them, however not force or pressure it upon them. One thing I would not do is insult the people who would otherwise have my support.

Morpheus said...

Anonymous... If you are insinuating I have insulted anyone or spoken untruthfully then point it out!

I tell it like i see it. I can do no more or less and live with myself or face others others. If i didn't stand up in the face of the threat I percieve has been dogging my race for millenia, and done so forcibly so there can be no misunderstanding, then i would be a coward in anyones eyes.

Morpheus said...

And another thing anonymous!

What does the christain church do? It says "Do as i say or burn in hell for all eternity!" Missionaries have for hundreds of years threatened "heathens" with all sorts of misfortunes. The Inquisition? The Crusades? The Iraq war? Force? Share? Garner?

Are you sure we're talking about the same thing?